Un venezolano, un gringo y un chino van en un avión que sufre un accidente y caen en una zona habitada por caníbales. Al verse en esta situación les piden a los caníbales que les den una oportunidad para salvar sus vidas, y deciden dársela con la condición de que superen una prueba:
"Hay tres chozas, en una hay 50 litros del licor mas fuerte que tenemos, en la segunda hay un tigre feroz y en la tercera hay una mujer insaciable... ustedes deben: tomarse todo el licor, sacarle un colmillo al tigre y satisfacer a la mujer.."
El chino pasa y no puede tomarse ni la mitad del licor.. Se lo ñascan!
El gringo entra a la primera choza, se toma todo el lico pero se queda dormido.. Se lo ñascan!!
El venezolano entra en la primera choza, se toma tod el licor. Sale dando tumbos y entra en la segunda choza, se escuchan terribles gritos del animal y del hombre.... Sale el venezolano todo arañado y pregunta a los canivales
"Dónde es que está la mujer que hay que sacarle el diente??"
jueves, 30 de octubre de 2008
miércoles, 29 de octubre de 2008
The Wrinkled Nightgown
A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown.
Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "My word, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!"
lunes, 27 de octubre de 2008
Stewed Tomatoes
A guy is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worry about getting seasick.
The doctor suggests, ''Eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.''
The guy replies, ''Would that keep me from getting sick, Doc?''
The doctor says, ''No, but it'll look real pretty in the water.''
The doctor suggests, ''Eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.''
The guy replies, ''Would that keep me from getting sick, Doc?''
The doctor says, ''No, but it'll look real pretty in the water.''
Respectfully Cheating
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"
"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."
"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."
"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."
"Three? When were they?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"
"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"
"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"
"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"
"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"
"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."
"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."
"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."
"Three? When were they?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"
"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"
"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"
"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"
domingo, 26 de octubre de 2008
sábado, 25 de octubre de 2008
Recopilatorios de Bodas
estos no los había visto, estan buenos Jejejejejeje
y este corto pero bueno JAJAJAJAJAJA
y este corto pero bueno JAJAJAJAJAJA
viernes, 24 de octubre de 2008
chastity belt
A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, "If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life."
So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. "What's wrong," he asks.
"You gave me the wrong key!"
So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. "What's wrong," he asks.
"You gave me the wrong key!"
jueves, 23 de octubre de 2008
Gorda Sobre Mesa
No Combina
Que yuca se da esta caraja
y el video completo para que vean como llegó hasta ahí. Realmente estaba inspirada hasta que la mesa la mandó a callar.. JAJAJAJAJAJAJA
Que yuca se da esta caraja
y el video completo para que vean como llegó hasta ahí. Realmente estaba inspirada hasta que la mesa la mandó a callar.. JAJAJAJAJAJAJA
miércoles, 22 de octubre de 2008
martes, 21 de octubre de 2008
lunes, 20 de octubre de 2008
domingo, 19 de octubre de 2008
miércoles, 15 de octubre de 2008
Crash Test with Truck
y pensar que a esta gente le pagan por eso. Donde puedo meter mi curriculum para trabajar en eso?
martes, 14 de octubre de 2008
The Final Countdown
in KazooKeylele - Ukulele
Casi muero de la risa con este video!!!
Jajajajajajajaja
Casi muero de la risa con este video!!!
Jajajajajajajaja
Poor Old Man
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and has sex with me twice a day"
The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"
The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"
The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"
The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"
Phone Line
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I''ve come to activate your phone lines."
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I''ve come to activate your phone lines."
lunes, 13 de octubre de 2008
Niña le Dispara a su Papa
Sin comentarios...
Quién deja a esa criatura jugar con una pistola cargada?
Quién deja a esa criatura jugar con una pistola cargada?
domingo, 12 de octubre de 2008
Carro en la nieve
Les cuento, este video es un clásico. el dueño de este carro estaba tratando de sacar el carro de la nieve. Lastima que no tengo el video completo, porque asnea demasiado tratando de hacerlo y bueno llega a esta posiciòn en la cual sus amigos con una pick-up se ofrecen a ayudarlo y nada.. Ahí Fué!
martes, 7 de octubre de 2008
Sex Therapy - Florida Style
A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"
The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.
The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"
The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare...!
The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"
The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.
The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"
The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare...!
lunes, 6 de octubre de 2008
The Hamster Show
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and singing "Tuff Enuff" by the Fabulous Thunderbirds.
"That IS amazing!" says the bartender and gives the guy his free beer.
"If I show you something else amazing, will you give me another beer?" The bartender agrees, so the guy pulls out a small piano and a hamster and a frog. Now the hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer. A man in a suit, who's been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a princely sum, which the man agrees to.
"Are you nuts?" asks the bartender. "You could've made a fortune off that frog."
"Can you keep a secret?" asks the man. "The hamster's a ventriloquist."
"That IS amazing!" says the bartender and gives the guy his free beer.
"If I show you something else amazing, will you give me another beer?" The bartender agrees, so the guy pulls out a small piano and a hamster and a frog. Now the hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer. A man in a suit, who's been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a princely sum, which the man agrees to.
"Are you nuts?" asks the bartender. "You could've made a fortune off that frog."
"Can you keep a secret?" asks the man. "The hamster's a ventriloquist."
domingo, 5 de octubre de 2008
sábado, 4 de octubre de 2008
Madres protegiendo a sus bebés
Piensenlo dos veces antes de meterse con una ardilla o un mono bebés!!
miércoles, 1 de octubre de 2008
Man, Woman, Sleeping Compartment
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.
"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"
After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.
"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"
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