Mmm.. ya entiendo todo.. si así son las cosas, yo también me disfrazaría de payaso, jeje.. (OJO: no para el exhibicionista)
domingo, 30 de noviembre de 2008
Por esto es que Ronald McDonald siempre sonríe...
Mmm.. ya entiendo todo.. si así son las cosas, yo también me disfrazaría de payaso, jeje.. (OJO: no para el exhibicionista)
Life is a test, graded on a curve
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 12, success is...having friends.
At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
At age 20, success is...having sex.
At age 35, success is...having money.
At age 50, success is...having money.
At age 60, success is...having sex.
At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 12, success is...having friends.
At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
At age 20, success is...having sex.
At age 35, success is...having money.
At age 50, success is...having money.
At age 60, success is...having sex.
At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
sábado, 29 de noviembre de 2008
viernes, 28 de noviembre de 2008
Chair Man of the Board
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Cargando 20 ladrillos en la cabeza
Increible la forma de este pana de montarse los ladrillos en la cabeza y llevarlos caminando como si nada!
jueves, 27 de noviembre de 2008
martes, 25 de noviembre de 2008
It's Not For Him, Stupid
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
lunes, 24 de noviembre de 2008
The Dark Knight- Joker Interrogation Scene
Que risa esta escena... En serio pensé lo mismo cuando la vi...
sábado, 22 de noviembre de 2008
viernes, 21 de noviembre de 2008
The Most Gruesome Death
There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into heaven. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the worst death would be allowed in.
The first man in line started telling his story, "Well, Peter, you see, I knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work one day to catch them in action. I got home and searched all over but I couldn''''t find him. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the darn thing by his fingertips. So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him with it and he fell. Well, the fall didn''t kill him, because he landed in a bush so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him. Although that killed him, the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am."
The next man came up and started his story. "St. Peter, I always work out on my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building. I was on my bike one day and I fell off when it flipped. I sailed over the rail and I thought ''''Please God spare my life'''' and he did. I caught on to a balcony below me. I was even happier when a man discovered me hanging there. But all of a sudden he started beating my hands with a hammer so I fell again. But the dear Lord saved me again when I landed in a bush. But I''''m here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top of me."
It was now the third guy''s turn to start his story. "Well, Peter, just picture this. I''m hiding butt naked in this married chick''''s refrigerator....."
The first man in line started telling his story, "Well, Peter, you see, I knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work one day to catch them in action. I got home and searched all over but I couldn''''t find him. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the darn thing by his fingertips. So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him with it and he fell. Well, the fall didn''t kill him, because he landed in a bush so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him. Although that killed him, the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am."
The next man came up and started his story. "St. Peter, I always work out on my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building. I was on my bike one day and I fell off when it flipped. I sailed over the rail and I thought ''''Please God spare my life'''' and he did. I caught on to a balcony below me. I was even happier when a man discovered me hanging there. But all of a sudden he started beating my hands with a hammer so I fell again. But the dear Lord saved me again when I landed in a bush. But I''''m here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top of me."
It was now the third guy''s turn to start his story. "Well, Peter, just picture this. I''m hiding butt naked in this married chick''''s refrigerator....."
jueves, 20 de noviembre de 2008
Sensitive Beer
Three hicks were working on a telephone tower - Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.
Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies.
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"
Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'."
She said, "No, I'm not a widow!"
And I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.
Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies.
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"
Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'."
She said, "No, I'm not a widow!"
And I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.
miércoles, 19 de noviembre de 2008
Ritmo & Compas: El Mito Musical de Madrid
Ahí esta el secreto, ya sabemos por que no triunfamos en la vida musical!!!
Contador Sordomudo
Un jefe de la mafia descubrió que su contador había desviado 10
millones de dólares de la caja.
El contador era sordomudo por eso fue admitido en la mafia, pues como
no podía oir ni decir nada, en caso de una eventual detención y
proceso, no podría actuar como testigo.
Cuando el jefe le fue a preguntar por los 10 millones, llevó consigo a
su abogada, que conocía el lenguaje de las señales de los sordomudos.
El jefe pregunto al contador:
--¿Dónde están los 10 millones que te llevaste?
La abogada, usando el lenguaje de las señales, le hizo llegar la
pregunta al contador, que a su vez respondió con señales:
--Yo no sé de qué están hablando..
La abogada lo tradujo para el jefe:
--El dice que no sabe de que le hablamos.
El mafioso sacó un pistola calibre 45 y apuntó a la cabeza del contador,
gritando:
--¡Pregúntale de nuevo!
La abogada, por señales, le dijo:--Él te va a matar si no le cuentas
dónde está el dinero.
El contador respondió con señales:
--Ok, ustedes ganaron. El dinero está en una valija marrón de cuero,
que está enterrada en el jardín de la casa de mi primo Enzo, en el Nº
400 de la calle 26.
El mafioso le preguntó a la abogada:
--¿Qué dice?
La abogada respondió:
--Dice que no tiene miedo de morir y que usted es un pobre hijueputa
que no es lo suficientemente hombre para apretar el gatillo...
ASI SON LOS ABOGADOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
millones de dólares de la caja.
El contador era sordomudo por eso fue admitido en la mafia, pues como
no podía oir ni decir nada, en caso de una eventual detención y
proceso, no podría actuar como testigo.
Cuando el jefe le fue a preguntar por los 10 millones, llevó consigo a
su abogada, que conocía el lenguaje de las señales de los sordomudos.
El jefe pregunto al contador:
--¿Dónde están los 10 millones que te llevaste?
La abogada, usando el lenguaje de las señales, le hizo llegar la
pregunta al contador, que a su vez respondió con señales:
--Yo no sé de qué están hablando..
La abogada lo tradujo para el jefe:
--El dice que no sabe de que le hablamos.
El mafioso sacó un pistola calibre 45 y apuntó a la cabeza del contador,
gritando:
--¡Pregúntale de nuevo!
La abogada, por señales, le dijo:--Él te va a matar si no le cuentas
dónde está el dinero.
El contador respondió con señales:
--Ok, ustedes ganaron. El dinero está en una valija marrón de cuero,
que está enterrada en el jardín de la casa de mi primo Enzo, en el Nº
400 de la calle 26.
El mafioso le preguntó a la abogada:
--¿Qué dice?
La abogada respondió:
--Dice que no tiene miedo de morir y que usted es un pobre hijueputa
que no es lo suficientemente hombre para apretar el gatillo...
ASI SON LOS ABOGADOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
martes, 18 de noviembre de 2008
Texas Trooper
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over. The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face. Stunned, the driver asks, ''Why did you do that??''
The trooper responds, ''You're in Texas now son, you have that license out and ready around here!''
''I apologize sir, I'm not from around here.''
The trooper then walks to the passenger side of the car, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down his window and the trooper takes out his club and smacks the passenger across the face.
''What was that for?'' asked the passenger.
''I know your kind,'' says the trooper, ''About two miles down the road you would have looked at your buddy and said 'I wish that son of a bitch would have tried that crap with me!'''
The trooper responds, ''You're in Texas now son, you have that license out and ready around here!''
''I apologize sir, I'm not from around here.''
The trooper then walks to the passenger side of the car, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down his window and the trooper takes out his club and smacks the passenger across the face.
''What was that for?'' asked the passenger.
''I know your kind,'' says the trooper, ''About two miles down the road you would have looked at your buddy and said 'I wish that son of a bitch would have tried that crap with me!'''
lunes, 17 de noviembre de 2008
domingo, 16 de noviembre de 2008
Matrix: el pasaporte de Neo!!
Vean este screenshot de Matrix y pillen la fecha cuando se vence el pasaporte de Neo:
Frikeante no? que bolas..
Frikeante no? que bolas..
Imágenes...
La gente de Pink Floyd no está tan orgullosa ahora, jejeje:
Es la cruel verdad:
Un poquito de canibalismo ochentoso:
Jajaja.. así son:
Es la cruel verdad:
Un poquito de canibalismo ochentoso:
Jajaja.. así son:
viernes, 14 de noviembre de 2008
A man with a pegleg, hook hand and...
A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.
Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.
Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.
Mesa= 1 Borracho= espalda rota
Ok no se que pretendía este pana pero terminó mínimo con alguna cotilla rota...
jueves, 13 de noviembre de 2008
The Gamekillers
The Flirt
Sensitivo (Jajajajajajaja)
The Conquistador (este me da demasiada risa)
One Upper (Sujetos como este son estresantes)
Sensitivo (Jajajajajajaja)
The Conquistador (este me da demasiada risa)
One Upper (Sujetos como este son estresantes)
miércoles, 12 de noviembre de 2008
El Dolar
Con tanta variación del dólar en los mercados bursátiles y en las bolsas...
Será que caerá el dolar????
Será que caerá el dolar????
martes, 11 de noviembre de 2008
Totally Bats
Two bats are going for their midnight feed.
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
lunes, 10 de noviembre de 2008
The Bottom Line
A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon.
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."
domingo, 9 de noviembre de 2008
sábado, 8 de noviembre de 2008
Gato tomando leche
Este gato se moja la patica y toma leche mientras hace unos ruidos burda de raros
viernes, 7 de noviembre de 2008
Animatronics
Aquí una pequeña coleccion de criaturas utilizadas para peliculas y propagandas...que bolas parecen de verdad!!
Espejo Interactivo
Ahora que todo es táctil, porque no un espejo? puedes dibujar, leer, jugar,ver fotos....brutal.
jueves, 6 de noviembre de 2008
Little Nancy's Pet
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
No es Fácil ser Heavy
JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA
Se parece a IKER!!!!!
JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA
Se parece a IKER!!!!!
JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA
martes, 4 de noviembre de 2008
Economía Mundial
La Crisis, para que vean que estamos en todo.
Este Señor nos explica el por qué de la crisis mundial, eta bueno y sencillo de entender. para que no los timen en el futuro
Este Señor nos explica el por qué de la crisis mundial, eta bueno y sencillo de entender. para que no los timen en el futuro
Under Influence
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.
Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.
The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''
Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.
The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''
Local Strip Club
Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.''
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'' ''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?''
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.
The cabby turns his head and says, ''Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!''
The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.''
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'' ''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?''
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.
The cabby turns his head and says, ''Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!''
domingo, 2 de noviembre de 2008
Estímulos eléctricos en la cara
Interesante video de como se le mueve la cara a este pana con estímulos eléctricos
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